Summer Fun in Tammy’s Back Yard

Tammy has suggested that I put this in my blog for those of you who do NOT have children yet in an attempt to persuade you to NEVER have them. She sent this to me in email today. It’s a short story about something that her three year old did…I have to say that I never thought as I was reading it that the story was going to end this way, but it’s hysterical in a(“KRF, you will never believe what YOUR child did today” sort of way.)

Here’s the email, names have been changed to protect the innocent…
Let me tell you a story … Yesterday, I met with my accountability partner S, and since it’s summer we met here at my house where there’s PLENTY of entertainment for the kids. I had been gone scrapbooking all weekend and didn’t get home until very late Sunday night, so Monday morning was the first time Will, my VERY attached 3 year old, had seen me in three days. He was SO excited to see me after so long and wanted MORE attention than usual. “Usual” is 100% of my attention, 100% of the time, so you can IMAGINE how bad “more than usual” was – he was laying all over me all the time, kept taking his hand and turning my face towards HIM so I would be forced to look at and listen to and talk to HIM … it was just SO obnoxious! But since I had been gone all weekend and he was just seeing me for the first time that morning, I cut him a LOT of slack and gave him a LOT of grace. Finally, though, S and I moved outside to the patio in hopes of giving Will some distractions – his FAVORITE place is outside, and his FAVORITE outside activity is to play with the water hose. Ours is cool because it has a big round nozzle on it with a bunch of different settings, so he can mist it (“soft” water, he says) and jet it (hard, fast, and painful) and rain shower it to water all the plants … point being, he can usually entertain himself for a VERY long time with the water hose. And it worked FINE, for about 10 minutes … and then Will just couldn’t stand it anymore … just couldn’t take me not giving him my FULL attention … and he took the water hose … and he turned it to jet … hard, fast, and painful … and yes he did … yes he did … he shot S right in the face with it. Oh … my … gosh …

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